Racing Pump - Toys

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Now I know that this looks more like an instrument of torture rather than a sex toy but after reading numerous satisfied customer reviews about the racing pump it seems as if this is the definitive gadget for pulling your plonker. With a frankly enormous twelve inch flask pistol grip pump with safety release valve latex sleeve for easy entry and a powerful multi speed vibrator I can definitely see how the afore mentioned customers came to that conclusion! Requires 2 x AA batteries.

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Cellulite Massage Oil - Improve on the performance of massage alone with this special blend of essential oils. Containing juniper a diuretic known for its clearing and cleansing properties to tone the circulation and detoxify the body. Cypress to tone and firm the muscles and finally jojoba (wasn't he out of Stars Wars?) to help break down the toxins and fatty deposits which turn into cellulite.

100 Damn Good Reasons To Hate Cats - Sick of soppy books about cats? Reality Check: A cat sleeps all day play with its food does nothing constructive whatsoever is miserly with its affections and would happily turn its back on you in favour of someone who serves deluxe kitty food supreme. For those that need more convincing here are 100 damn good reasons why it really is okay to hate cats...

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