Acre Of Land On Mars - Now you too can own your very own acre of land on the male species home planet Mars. So what do you get for your money?. Martian Deed which confirms your registration of the one acre of Mars and gives the co-ordinates of your plot. The Martian Map so you can see where your property is located. The Martian Constitution and Bill of Rights which details the Martian laws your rights and of course the all important laws of THE BIG CHEESE. A transcript of the Declaration of Ownership. This is the document filed with the USA and Russia along with the United Nations General Assembly in 1980 in which Dennis M. Hope - The BIG CHEESE - first laid claim Mars. A document confirming you have Mineral Rights to your land. Postage paid registration Card. This all comes in a slick Moon Estates gift pack which makes this a wonderful and unique gift.

An Acre Of Land On The Moon - Now you too can own your very own acre of land on the light side of the moon join the likes of Clint Eastwood Tom Cruise; the original cast of Star Trek and two US ex-presidents. So what do you get for your money? Lunar Deed which confirms your registration of the one acre of the moon and gives the co-ordinates of your plot. The Lunar Map so you can see where on the light side of the moon your property is located. The Lunar Constitution and Bill of Rights which details the Lunar laws your rights and of course the all important laws of THE BIG CHEESE. A transcript of the Declaration of Ownership. This is the document filed with the USA and Russia along with the United Nations General Assembly in 1980 in which Dennis M. Hope - The BIG CHEESE - first laid claim to the Moon. A document confirming you have Mineral Rights to your land. Postage paid registration Card. This all comes in a slick Moon Estates gift pack which makes this a wonderful and unique gift.Note: The Lunar deed comes blank the recipient then fills in their name and sends off a pre-paid registration card which completes the legal process.Once you have got your acre of land on the moon you can get a picture of it from the Clementine Lunar Image BrowserFrequently Asked Questions

Acre Of Land On Venus - Now you too can own your very own acre of land on the female species home planet Venus. So what do you get for your £19.99?. Venusian Deed which confirms your registration of the one acre of Venus and gives the co-ordinates of your plot. The Venusian Map so you can see where your property is located. The Venusian Constitution and Bill of Rights which details the Venusian laws your rights and of course the all important laws of THE BIG CHEESE. A transcript of the Declaration of Ownership. This is the document filed with the USA and Russia along with the United Nations General Assembly in 1980 in which Dennis M. Hope - The BIG CHEESE - first laid claim Venus. A document confirming you have Mineral Rights to your land. Postage paid registration Card. This all comes in a slick Moon Estates gift pack which makes this a wonderful and unique gift.

Electro Shock Pen - One of the oldest jokes in the book but still one of the best! Let your friends and family borrow this pen and watch their face as they get a harmless electric shock when they press the top just before writing! The only down side is that I can see delivery drivers and postman all over the country reaching for the buy button so they can zap unsuspecting people signing for parcels first thing in the morning! Takes 1 AAA battery which is included.

Dogs Intelligence Test - Do you have a four legged Einstein or is your dog lovable because what he lacks in brains he makes up for in loyalty? Take this test to see where your best friend sits on the ”Smarts Chart”. Who knows you may have to rename your dog ”Albert”! Free stop watch included.

Electric Shock Lighter - Guaranteed to drive your friends and family stark staring mad as they reach for your new and stylishly designed lighter only to get a harmless electric shock when they press the top! Perfect payback for anyone that tries to steal your lighter when you’re in the pub simply leave it on the table sit back and hear them yelp in surprise when they get zapped!

Jeckyl Figurine - We all know someone like this usually on a Monday morning before the caffeine rush has hit home and they become 'bearable' again.

Angus Figurine - A true Scotsman if ever I saw one always blowing their own trumpet and making far too much noise. I just hope that he makes sure that the pipe is clean before it goes in his mouth though!

Joy Figurine - Haa! It's no wonder that the housework takes so long to be done when you use a Hoover like that! The appropriately named Joy figurine looks like she's investigating whether her new vacuum cleaner will get into all those tight spots that the old one missed.

Cameron Figurine - Now that's what I call a zoom lens! Word of warning though you might want to close your eyes when his flash goes off.

Arran Figurine - Oops looks like Arran is a little accident prone today and is taking a brief 'paws' before he hops off to find the needle and thread.

Everyday Someone New Pisses Me Off Mug - For those of you out there that don't suffer fools gladly this good quality mug presented in a matching gift box is the perfect way to make a statement without having to say a word.

Become Laird (Lord) Or Lady Of John O' Groats - If you're anything like me you'll probably agree that the Mr and Mrs title always sounds so dull and normal when you introduce yourself at parties or have to complete one of those nasty forms from the bank. Well all of that can now change with the introduction of this great new product enabling you to legally become Laird (Lord) or Lady of John O' Groats by virtue of the purchase of one square foot of land which is part of the John O' Groats estate in Caithness!This gift is completely genuine and legal. The Laird title documents have been drawn up by our Scottish lawyer to ensure that it is a legal and valid document. "Laird" meaning "land owner" is a title that can be used by men or women but the commonly accepted equivalent for women is "Lady". We can't guarantee that champagne will fall from the heavens and velvet ropes will part but this Laird and Lady gift pack will certainly give your social status a boost!

Woowoo Toilet Paper Dispenser - Taking novelty toilet paper dispensers to a whole new dimension the woowoo t-dog manages to look both cute and cuddly and strangely revolting all in the same breath. If you haven't got a dog than get this one as it even cleans up after itself!

Death Clock - This amazingly popular and somewhat darkly humorous CD-ROM assess your lifestyle after you've completed a series of questions and calculates how long you have to go until you turn up your toes. It then places a countdown to death clock screensaver on your PC which counts down second by second each and every day until you pop your clogs.... which sounds incredibly jolly doesn't it?! Requires a PC running any version of Windows and Flash player 6.

Giant Cheese Board Mouse Trap - I don't know why its taken so long for someone to come up with this idea. A giant mouse trap cheese board only with this one you don't have to worry about loosing your fingers! Approximately 19" long x 12" wide.

Spankometer - Wow I can see it now. The year is 2008 and choking the chicken has become an Olympic Spurt sorry Sport and the gold medal can only be attained after years of practice and dedication to the fine art of spanking the monkey. Now you too can train to become a world renowned "athlete" by including this wrist strapped spankometer into your workout program so you can measure your performance and keep a year long record of your wrist swishing activity. Guys just remember where will you be in 2008?

Sexy Cow Pat - For all of you out there that have been enthralled by Channel Fives The Farm and perhaps even C4's River Cottage where both groups of presenters spend an enormous amount of time standing at the business end of a cow then this blushing bovine beauty should be right up your street. This sexy little cow is supplied with a little electronic voice box and will moo with delight as you play with her!

Sex Timer - Are you a bedroom bore or a sexually satisfying stud? For those of you out there that have become a little self conscious of the amount of time you put into your carnal cavorting this sex timer designed to mimic an egg timer will help you assess your performance in one easy flick of the wrist. Stallion stud playboy lover unsatisfied or just very poor...which one are you? p.s. Guys make sure you play fair and only flip the timer over once you've got your togs off as you don't want the lady in your life telling you that you're a cheat as well as being crap in bed do you?